Betty J. Phillippe

Betty Joyce (Somers) Phillippe, 91, formerly of Derby KS, lately of Queen Creek AZ, passed peacefully in Queen Creek on September 26, 2024.

A celebration of her life will be held on Saturday, October 12, 2024, at Smith Family Mortuary in Derby, KS. In lieu of flowers, a memorial has been established with First Christian Church, 7465 S. Meridian, Haysville Kansas.

It was tough to get started with writing this tribute. She was Betty Joyce. She was Little Betty. She was Aunt Betty. She was Miz Phillippe. She was Grandma or Grandma Betty. She was "my wife, Betty", Dear, or Sweetheart. She was Mom. She wasn't the type for flowery sentiment, or deep mourning. Life was a celebration, even at the worst of times, and this is a celebration of her life!

Born at the Sedgwick County, Kansas, home of Clarence and Katie (England) Somers on August 31, 1933, Betty was the youngest of six children. Her childhood was spent as most farm girls in the 1930s and 1940s. As the older siblings married and moved out, their chores became hers. Part of her duties included helping with the care of her grandmothers, each of whom lived with the family at one point.

Betty’s lifelong best friend lived just down the road from her house. From the stories that have been told, there was also plenty of opportunities for fun. There were casual get-togethers, parties, family dinners for every occasion (family being grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and anyone else who happened to be around), adventures, out of town trips with friends to the married sisters’ homes, and vacations with the entire extended family.

It was the middle and end of the depression and then World War II, so EVERYTHING was used and re-used until worn out. "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without" was not simply a catch phrase; it was a way of life for the Somers family. There wasn't much, but there was always just enough. They even found ways to use what was "used up"! This way of living stayed with Betty all her life--we're still finding pencil stubs, very neatly folded plastic bags, note pads, etc.

From first through eighth grade, Betty attended Pleasant Valley School, the little brick schoolhouse about a mile from home. In good weather, she and her best friend walked to and from school. Bad weather had them on the bus. She attended Derby High School, where she met Jim Phillippe and his brothers and sisters. (By the way, that building later became Derby Elementary School, which her children attended, and is now the Derby Historical Museum.) Jim and Betty started dating at some point in their senior year. They graduated in May, 1951.

Jim gave Betty an engagement ring for Christmas of 1951. They were married March 2, 1952, in her childhood home surrounded by friends and family. From that time on, it was “Jim and Betty” or “Betty and Jim”. You didn’t have one without the other. The newlyweds set up housekeeping in a small house off Broadway in south Wichita, but soon moved to their permanent home on East 79th Street South. Their mortgage was $50 per month (yes 5-0 dollars). It was “home” until a couple of years after Jim died. Friends and family members STILL say they think of our family every time they drive past.

During the 1950s, Betty and Jim welcomed first, Janet Coleen (1/14/53), then Randall Kent aka Randy (2/23/56) into their home. In 1961, what started as a one-bedroom house with a garage grew to be a three-bedroom home with an expanded living room, family room, laundry room, and an enclosed back porch! The plans for the addition were sketched on the back of a church bulletin!! The work was accomplished by friends and family.

They became active in the congregation of First Presbyterian Church and of the couples’ club, The Mariners. Aside from their families, their social life revolved around the church. They served in any capacity that was asked of them. Betty was especially busy in the church kitchen, what with regular potluck dinners, Mission Week, VBS, memorial services, etc., something was always cooking.

Family Camps, sponsored by the Presbytery, were the highlight of several summers. On alternate years they were held either at Ghost Ranch in New Mexico, or at Mound Ridge in Missouri. Many weird and wonderful songs were sung around the campfire, including “Grannie’s in the Cellar” (ask Randy or Janet about that one), “Little Cabin In the Woods”, “Bingo”, and “The Ship Titanic”. Every year while Randy and Janet were young, Betty sewed matching shirts and/or t-shirts for all four members of the family. Actually, she sewed MOST of the family’s clothing during the 1950s and 1960s.

All their married life, Jim and Betty went camping and fishing. They started by camping in the car, using a couple of folding benches to convert the seats to beds of sorts. That didn’t last long, and next came a home-built topper for Jim’s first pickup. Again, folding benches for beds, and a propane stove on the picnic table. Through the years they moved up to cab-over campers and then a small 5th wheel RV. In conjunction with the Family Camps, they always took another week to travel, camp, and fish. Weekends when the weather was decent, they frequently camped by the creek that ran through Betty’s sister’s farm, where they were often joined by friends and Jim’s parents, or they met up with other family members at one lake or another. Wherever they camped, it was required that there be an opportunity to fish as well.

For many years Betty and Jim were part of a group of friends who got together regularly to have a meal and play pinochle. The kids of the group were all great friends, too, so Pinochle Night was always highly anticipated. This was especially true during the summer, as the meal was frequently a wiener and marshmallow roast while homemade ice cream and Betty’s sour cream cakes were usually on the dessert-end of the menu.

Throughout Randy and Janet’s growing up years, Betty supported everything they wanted to try: piano lessons—she took in ironing to pay for them; uniform for vocal ensembles—she made them; concerts, recitals, school competitions—she grabbed Jim and Grandma Somers and was there; Camp Fire Girls—drove Janet to the meetings, helped sell candy, sewed costumes, etc.; 4H—oh, my goodness—help in EVERY way, including listening to endless practice of cooking demonstrations, letting us make a mess of her kitchen with uncounted practice cakes and cookies, whatever project needed help got it. She welcomed all friends of her children into her home. In their condolence messages, a number of them have mentioned how welcome they felt and how they enjoyed being there. Some mentioned a few youth group parties that were held, including one memorable Halloween haunted house.

Every Monday, Betty and her mother did laundry the hard way, with a wringer washer, a rinse tub that required two people to carry and dump, and the clothes hung on the line in the back yard. On Tuesday, they ironed EVERYTHING except the sheets and the underwear! (By the way, that iron and ironing board are still in existence and became the bane of her later caregivers!) Betty usually did her baking on Saturday. Sour-cream cakes went in the freezer, as did coffee cans full of cookies, to be pulled out one serving at a time. During the appropriate seasons, vegetables, chili sauce, piccalilli relish, and jelly were all canned for later use. She loved her flower gardens, especially her irises, 4-o’clocks, rose moss, mums and marigolds. That little white house was surrounded with color.

In the early 1970s another season of life presented itself. Betty’s mother, who previously was diagnosed with diabetes, was now diagnosed with cancer, and Betty became her primary caregiver. She would eventually perform the same caregiving service for a sister, her father, and finally, one of her brothers. In fact, after her sister had to move to a nursing home, Betty visited her nearly every day for almost 25 years.

Betty and Jim moved their membership to the First Christian Church in Haysville, Kansas. Again, the church became their core of worship and fellowship. They were active in the AHA (pronounced Ah-Hah) group where they played all manner of card games with their friends. They also were active in Youth Club, working in the kitchen. Worship and Bible Study was central in their lives. Between them they literally wore out several Bibles and reference books. We’ve been finding “retired” Bibles in nearly every nook, cranny, box, and bookshelf, not counting the ones they each used until the very end. Remember, this was before personal computers, and they never embraced that technology even in later years!

The technology they DID embrace was the microwave and the VCR. Before the microwave, Betty created her own form of a frozen dinner: leftovers in an aluminum pie pan covered in foil placed in the freezer, then pulled out and heated in the oven. She was thrilled with the microwave. Substituted the pie pan for a microwave safe plate, and saran wrap for the foil. What took half an hour in the oven now took five minutes in the microwave! With the VCR, Betty recorded every show on TV that she thought Kevin and Janet would enjoy during their nine years of overseas duty stations with the Navy. Talk about a labor of love!!

During the 1970s, 80s and 90s, Betty and Jim’s children moved SEVERAL times, and whenever possible Mom and Dad helped pack, unpack, repair, renovate, and decorate. For a pair who stayed in one home for 45 years, that was a heap of moving!

In the 1980s and 1990s, Jim and Betty said “goodbye” to their own parents and started welcoming GRANDCHILDREN!! Betty LOVED her five grandbabies (Katie, Jamie, Tim, Brett, and Brad) and either attended their births or arrived shortly after to care for the mothers and the babies—oh, yes, AND the fathers. What a blessing!! Home cooked meals, house cleaned, laundry taken care of, colic-y babies walked ad nauseum. Jim got to meet all five of the grandchildren and play numerous games of Skip-Bo and Push. Betty continued new-arrival care into the next generation by being there for her two older great-grandsons, Grady and Jacob. Poor little Matthew came along too late for her to travel to him. She even helped out with Grady a year later when both of his Navy parents were deployed at the same time. First both Jim and Betty, and later Betty alone traveled to as many events in the grandchildren’s lives as possible. Some concerts and dramatic performances, high school and college graduations, and weddings.

The year 1997 had two highlights: a retirement and a high school graduation. The year 1997 also became the Somers sisters “annus horribilis” as Elizabeth II called her very bad year. The husband of each sister passed away that year, ending with Jim passing unexpectedly in November.

Betty worked to adapt to widowhood. It was TOUGH, as the two of them did everything together, and neither of her children lived in town. However, she stood strong and managed it for several years. Selling the house was one of the hardest things she ever did, but she could not handle the maintenance and repair herself. After helping her a few times, her brother said he understood why Jim died…she worked him to death! Ha!

Betty moved to an apartment in Derby (the first time she moved in 45+ years) and stayed there for several years. Finally, in 2011, she moved to the home of her niece in Queen Creek, Arizona. There she took an active part in their family life, adopting the kids and grandkids as her own, and they adopted her! She also formed her own circle of friends at her new church and the local Senior Center. After she gave up driving, if family members weren’t available, her friends made sure she got to church and every other activity they could think of.

At her 90th birthday, Betty mentioned that she had told God she wanted to live to see 90 and then she was ready to go. During her final year after she turned 90, that desire increased as her mental facilities deserted her at a more rapid pace. She could still hold it together for a phone call or short visit, but more and more frequently her fantasy and phantoms took over. Betty LOVED life, but she longed for Heaven. On the evening of September 26, 2024, she got her last wish.

Following the news of her passing, comments from friends and family on Facebook included:

Church: A wonderful, Godly woman. A stellar example of Christian faith and love.

Friend: She was so sweet. We all loved her.

Distant Cousin: I know my mama must be one happy heavenly camper right about now.

Cousin: Heaven has gained an angel.

Cousin: We sure loved Aunt Betty. She was always so kind when the Andrew crew showed up at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

Cousin: I enjoyed talking with her over the phone -her little voice was so sweet to listen to. Fly high, sweet lady

Friend: What a sweet & good mother she was. I have many fond memories when she made me feel at home at your house.

Friend: Your mother was so kind. I knew her from church, & I remember her also from the Halloween party you & Beverly hosted at your house when we were in 8th grade.

Distant Cousin: Your mom was one of my dad's favorite cousins.

Cousin: Rest in peace Betty. I am sorry that we didn't get to talk before you went to heaven, but I think Grandpa and Grandma along other family members had a lot to tell you when you arrived. Tell mom and dad hello and we miss them

Friend: What a loving mother she was and a remarkable individual that the rest of us were blessed to know.

Friend: Your mom was so sweet! I have fond memories of playing with you and Randy at your home. Sending love and prayers to your family.

Friend: She was always so kind and cheerful to me and always working in the kitchen preparing food when we had sleepovers at your home. She was a special woman and always kind and welcoming to me. Some of my cherished memories were when I would stay overnight at your house, and she would be in the kitchen while she was busy preparing meals.

Betty was preceded in death by her parents, five brothers and sisters, and her loving husband, Jimmie A. (Jim) Phillippe. She is survived by her children: Janet O’Grady and her husband Kevin of Currituck, North Carolina, Randy Phillippe and his wife Victoria of Lutz, Florida; grandchildren: Katie Walston (Jason), Jamie O’Grady (Jake Roos), Tim Phillippe (Alanah Matos), Brett Phillippe (Myrla) and Brad Phillippe (Carissa); three great-grandchildren: James (Grady) Walston, Jacob Walston, and Matthew Phillippe; and a host of nieces and nephews, including her long-term caregiver niece Pamela Kanaga Barney of Queen Creek.

A celebration of her life will be held on Saturday, October 12, 2024, at Smith Family Mortuary in Derby, KS. Interment will follow at El Paso Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, a memorial has been established with First Christian Church, 7465 S. Meridian, Haysville Kansas.